I have had a traumatic day. The local clay pigeon shoot have been in town and given me a funny turn by firing up bits of stuff and then unleashing Armageddon over my head (sadly missing the goats I notice). Then Useless Dad came past with his tractor and mowed the only bit of grass I had left. And finally I was made to go out for a plod and met a Dalek.
To be honest, the ride hadn't had an auspicious start as I rushed a gate and kneecapped the human. The language from above was a tad ripe so I decided that if I trotted off the wind would blow the WORDS away and I wouldn't be corrupted. So we were going at quite a belt when above the hedge line appeared an eye on a stalk. I stopped but the human didn't and for a while she was draped round my ears. It became clear that the eye was attached to something with an engine and at this point I decided that I wasn't going to stick around to find out. Trouble is, the gate was now between me and 100 acres of escape route, so through the hedge it was, past some very surprised sheep and up the hill to safety.
The eye turned out to be on a pole on top of a very sinister black car with Google on it. This could be embarrassing.
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