Something rather odd has happened. It all started when the human came back from holiday and burst out laughing when she saw me. I checked that none of my legs had fallen off, I didn't have a goat in my tail and I had licked my breakfast from the corners of my mouth but couldn't see what all the hilarity was about. All that had changed in the 7 days the human had been away was my fluff. Same colour, but rather more apparently.
So the human turns up a few days later with a carrot and a sneaky grin. I grab carrot and immediately spit it straight back out. The carrot is filled with POISON. There ensues an unseemly tussle with human trying to ram the carrot in my trap whilst wailing that it cost £17.50 to fill the carrot with a "nice little treat". Well, if a carrot is THAT expensive, it must be tasty so I duly oblige and munch it all up. I think the human was robbed at the grocers, it didn't taste at all good. I was then parked in the stable and the human sat down with a cup of tea and a smug look.
10 minutes later I am wondering why I'm in with no food.
20 minutes later I am still wondering why I'm in with no food and am banging the door.
30 minutes later I have dug up my mats and pooed in my water as a protest.
45 minutes later I am feeling rather terrific and love everyone man, even the trees and the flowers and the sky and the clouds and the kamikaze goat squadron and the chickzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
90 minutes later I remember that I was hungry and open one eye to see if there is hay yet. There is rather a draught round my nether regions so I look down to find that I am absolutely STARKERS.
*blush*
The human has a very nasty grin and is sweeping up MY FLUFF from the floor.
My advice is to keep an eye on your carrots, they are apparently rather easy to spike........
No comments:
Post a Comment