No **** Sherlock

The trouble is with winter weather is that it is very boring for fat ponies. Not only am I having issues with cold white stuff covering all my grass, it is darn slippery out there and although its funny when the human goes base over apex on the yard, its not so funny when I follow. So the opportunities for getting out and about are limited to say the least when the drive is like the Cresta Run and someone has built an 8ft snowman in the middle of the common.

However, the human decided I ought to go for a leg stretch between the snows and frosts so we headed for the woods where the going was good to firm. I like the woods, they are safe and cosy and quiet. So I was surprised to be pulled up from a spanking trot and even more surprised to hear some somewhat ripe language from above. For once I knew I was blameless and my halo was shining. Whats more, the human had got off and was dragging me into a bushy bit of copse and was holding her phone with her thumb hovering over the 9.

There is a dead body in the tree.

Cue panic. Reverse gear activated, run round in circles, fall in bog, leave. I could hear the human shouting behind me that it wasn't a dead body, its a coat you stupid pony, wait for meeeeeeee.

Ah, so it is. But I'm free! This is a good game, especially as there are nice things to munch in the woods. I leave the human in the distance and troll off looking for food. Splendid!

20 minutes later I stand on my reins and the human finally catches up. All those visits to the gym have not done her any good, she is all red and sweaty. Whats more, on further investigation I have lost half my quota of shoes and my moustache has brambles in it.

Hercule Poirot I am not, but then again, neither is the Human.....